Post Lucum Part I

Prologue and הׇשׇׂטׇ֖ן

À quatorze ans …Après des mois de ténèbres intérieures j'ai eu soudain et pour toujours la certitude que n'importe quel être humain, même si ces facultés naturelles sont presque nulles, pénètre dans ce royaume de la vérité réservée au génie, si seulement il désire la vérité et fait perpétuellement un effort d'attention pour l'atteindre.¹

Prologue

Were I to tell today to you today,

You’d find your self bereft of sanctity,

For none can speak and truth convey thereby--

The sacred is to know apart from all.

My mind’s a blast that rends and brakes the earth,

It speaks a shatt’ring with a singeing tongue.²

Be still ye small and hear it spoke wherefrom

Your whence and wither are become to you.³

2

I leave the temple where the pillars leave,

On branching way from column’d branch’s sway,

A sacred route away from where they root.

The outer court was filled with emerald blades,

The inner moves Davidic seed to green.⁴

The courts within once giv’n to flame and smoke,

Consum’d by thundry words from pillar’d clouds,

And then made pure with blood and wat’ry drops.⁵

3

Within you see that earth and circling sky

Conspired to house their num’rous progeny;

We are inversions of eternity,

Our clay surrounds a firmament within.

Not offspring but a kindred to our source,

A father’s son is brother to his sire.

There never was created element;

We always were and always will we be.

4

As Kings we are with Queens who make us so,

A priestly race with starry come and go.

The light we knew because we knew ourselves.

Beyond were two who’d learned and became one

The twofold One Who gave us to below,

So as to draw the good from out the dark.

I will tell out the rest I came to know,⁶

And typify the godly path for man.⁷

---

הׇשׇׂטׇ֖ן⁸

5

There once was darkness when I foundered by,

Afore I reached the fanum⁹ in the wood,

T’was ‘ere I knew the sylvan τέμενος,¹⁰

A world apart from sacredest ¹¹קֹדֶשׁ,

In there, alone, and without guide, half lost;¹²

Was I the sport of some malignant power,¹³

Or set upon by native ignorance?

For wisdom’s lack a darkness thick upbraids.¹⁴

6

From highest point my mind was down a hill,

A prey to weak’ning thoughts and frozen tongue.

My foe unseen goes to and fro throughout;

From up to down among superiors.¹⁵

Like spotted, maned, or lupine predator,¹⁶

That marv’lous power seized on this suppliant.

O baneful wrath to myriad hero souls,¹⁷

How can you seem a thing to me but small?¹⁸

7

The awful sprite impelled me thus to leave:¹⁹

“Away, away” the clamor doubly rang,

“Be ye apart from this entire grove.”²⁰

T’was speech as fallen as its source, like to

An agéd man in rural weed bedecked,²¹

Who once of royal breed and seemly clad,²²

For treachery cast out from natal court:

Affixed in cold, inverted ‘gainst his home.²³

8

His words, like lightning falling out the sky,²⁴

Hung ‘round my neck like chains of adamant:

First light as flax then strengthened cords to bind.²⁵

His countenance was threefold now, though once

So beautiful.²⁶  The trait’rous face is two

And self-exalting pride gave yet one more,

With such his maw could thrice the sinner gnaw.²⁷

Unto this three the twofold One gave me.

9

“Thou art but man” said he whom now I saw.

“Not much more than what grows within this place:

Like foliage put forth and fallen off,²⁸

A poor and solitary lot are ye.²⁹

As one cast out whose burden once was light,

Now re-attained by signs and words secret,³⁰

I you reclaim from gods unknown and not;

Go forth and give thy people to themselves.”³¹

10

Such out loud vaunt gave freight of pain to me,³²

In truth, myself I trow, two suns I saw,³³

The one a light from oil besmeared upon³⁴

A son ordained to rise up as the morn;

But here with me a lesser son deprived

Of rays, ‘cept those that sprout from taurine heads,³⁵

Not suffering nor doing quietude,³⁶

He’s mis’rable in deed and suffers weak.³⁷

11

For all his heat and flow’r he knew me not;

To me as to us all was giv’n to search

Into and contemplate the dark abyss

To broad eternity and th’ utmost Heav’n:

‘Tis time and careful, solemn, pond’rous thought

That with experience can find them out;

Thou must commune twofold to save thy soul.³⁸

I knew myself so armed and gave reply.

12

“Art thou to me a brother or brethren?³⁹

You thrice persuade me ‘gainst the twofold one?

‘Haps wist ye not that I⁴⁰ complete the will

That called this self and spake thereto from heav’n?⁴¹

Thy hateful gifts I honor worth a hair,⁴²

Ye speak to me and hide another mind:

Hateful to me beyond the gates unseen.”⁴³

Spake I, myself; to me replied the three:

13

“What is this man who magnifies himself?⁴⁴

‘Haps know ye not ye thrice yourself as me?

To seven-fold he makes himself as though

A god he’d be; he seven ‘selves’ invokes

To hold his ground ‘fore me within this place.

If god ye be then off’ring take of me:

To make amends by countless ransom I

Will count to you a votive gift renowned:”⁴⁵

14

“See seven bowls, three footed each,⁴⁶ to fill

With oblate flow to sanctify thy flock.

Perhaps not for communal drink this gift

Is best employed; so maidens seven⁴⁷ place

Thereon to utter hazy oracles.

As muse helpmeet a lady ‘lect ye out

To scribe⁴⁸ and teach thy sacred song while ye

Will shepherd seven cities⁴⁹ ‘round a mount.”⁵⁰

15

So spake he over whom the heavens wept.⁵¹

And wept I too to see him and his gait:

This one who’d gift to me a cov’nant cup

Tells out with halting step exile praeceps⁵²

Begun: from sweetly sacred limen snatched 

Then, like the setting sun, a daylong fall.⁵³ 

A staggered shame to he whose serpentine

Posture devises death to them who live.⁵⁴ 

16

With snakish twist his crooked step concealed;

He, undulate in stance, with sanguine glance,

His countenance a crested hood aloft,⁵⁵

Insinuates immense volum’nous neck.⁵⁶  

He hissing licks with quiv’ring tongue his mouth⁵⁷

That plied the sounding air with false essay.⁵⁸ 

With limbs distorted sick by ancient fate,⁵⁹

Enclosed in serpent mien continued he:

17

“Like things forthwith will all be giv’n to you,⁶⁰

Such worthy gifts for leaving cholic by,⁶¹

Imbue, my child, the willing with a strength:⁶²

Abate ye now from evil-planning strife.⁶³

Within this copse awaits a foe most grand⁶⁴  

Beyond where now we stand; the nature of

His strength unknown, upheld by chance or fate,⁶⁵

His wrath inflames ‘midst vocal suppliants.”⁶⁶ 

18

Pretending grace th’ infernal child feigned,

His love for me inverted as was he:

Behold, a worse than money-love⁶⁷ is he!⁶⁸ 

‘A pow’r divine made me’⁶⁹ says he but O

Was two-fold Justice, one with Wisdom,⁷⁰ sang:

 “numquam deus poterat creare.”⁷¹  

With all hope lost upon my ent’ring here⁷²

By harsher speech I moved to cast him out:⁷³  

19

“I’ll not meet you among these hallowed barks,⁷⁴

Not in here now or later coming back!⁷⁵

O seer of evils never speaking good,⁷⁶

‘Tis vice you love and such you prophesy.⁷⁷

Your plan is not that safer I depart.”⁷⁸

You have not pow’r a son of god to make

For Him received you not;⁷⁹ and me you seek

To kill, because He hath no place in you.”⁸⁰ 

20

The fiend un-subtled, sharpened eyes on me,

Did answered with dissembling smoothly giv’n:⁸¹

“So, Him ye think to name as foe to me? 

That one most grand who loathes the suppliant,

Hath named all thine as mine⁸² and thee for me

To save.⁸³  O child of earthly-make here be

A thing of which ye have not heard to hear,

Give fealty to me, attendant man.”⁸⁴   

21

His truest lie he then revealed to me:

“In happy realms of light and brightly clothed

Transcendent did I shine;⁸⁵ my voice I raised

To lower me and bear up all mankind,⁸⁶

Now here am I that man as god may be.⁸⁷

Though Adam’s son, in his room now be thou,⁸⁸

By death put off the man and god put on:⁸⁹

By death perfected as my Father in heav’n.”⁹⁰

22

Now undisguised the Arch-fiend⁹¹ proffered me:

“Have death’s perfection now by either fate:⁹²

Remaining here thy home to thee is lost,⁹³

For glory great and priesthood without end.⁹⁴

If homeward should ye fade, thy glory too,

As starry light by moon and sun obscured,⁹⁵

Though quick’ning death may find ye not anon.

Choose life through me,⁹⁶ O ye who ‘dureth not.”

23

“What is this you have urged on me?” said I;

Then tempting at me said he: “Worship me, 

Thou son of man.”⁹⁷ And hearing this I hurt;

Its doing I abhor.⁹⁸ I thus replied:

“Prepared am I by will, not guile, to die,⁹⁹

In speaking such my soul you’d steal at once.”¹⁰⁰

“Should brief one shameless day be mine,” he said,

“And ye of men most righteous shall be called.”¹⁰¹ 

24

In heart weighed down and split¹⁰² to me I said:

“Encompassed round and set upon I grieve;¹⁰³

Is yet the prince of sin without or in

Who so accuses me? Does frenzied mind¹⁰⁴

With false creation¹⁰⁵ pierce into itself?”

Thus covered o’er by pain as sooty cloud¹⁰⁶

In dust outstretched I lay,¹⁰⁷ in visage marred;¹⁰⁸ 

My fear had swol’n into a bitter hell.¹⁰⁹

25

The end thereof, the place and my torment,¹¹⁰

Known to him who thrust it against my sight¹¹¹

And whirled it ‘round,¹¹² and conscious that when hands,

To plant and plough unused, receive increase 

Divinely giv’n,¹¹³ perspective single stays;

He proffered me and thus my sight put out.

Unknown to him who knew my history:¹¹⁴  

‘Twas by his fruit, that twofold would I see.¹¹⁵ 

26 

Let grieving soul and sorrowed heart attest:

By flesh, iniquity and tempting sin

So easily was I beset.¹¹⁶ I knelt

Me up and groaned within myself for voice¹¹⁷

To say what even now cannot be heard,¹¹⁸

Or understood, or e’en revealed to aught¹¹⁹

Than of its worm and fire must yet partake:¹²⁰

I tremble to my self-caused suffering.¹²¹ 

27   

If crying out or in, I could not tell,

But once I know: exerting all my power,

From out that slough of my despond,¹²² sunk in

Despair,¹²³ as like to one with cutting iron

Against the throat, I let a dreadful wail.¹²⁴

Let Earth entire deny and persecute¹²⁵ 

This principle and me, for I was heard

By Her, the queenly mother¹²⁶ of us all.

J. Wayne Shaw is a husband, father, latin teacher and veteran.

Artwork by Hannah Craig.

1. Weil, Attente de Dieu, pg. 33. “At fourteen…After months of internal darkness, I suddenly had the everlasting conviction that any person, even should their natural faculties be absent, can penetrate to the kingdom of truth reserved for genius, if only he longs for truth and makes a perpetual effort after its attainment.”

2. 1 Kings 19:11-13

3. John 3:8

4. Luke 12:27

5. Lev. 8:10-15

6. Dante, Inferno 1:8-9

7. Milton, Paradise Lost 1:26

8. Hebrew: “ha-sa-tan.”  Adversary, accuser.

9. Latin: “fa-noom.” Temple, sanctuary, sacred space.

10. Greek: “te-me-nos.” A placed marked off as sacred to a deity.

11. Hebrew: ko-desh.”  Term for the inner recesses of the Israelite Tabernacle and Temple; sacred.

12. Milton, Paradise Lost 2:975; Dante, Inferno 1:2-3

13. Wordsworth, Poetical Works, pp. 2, 463

14. JSH 1:11, 15

15. Job 1:6-7

16. Dante, Inferno1:31-49

17. Homer, Iliad 1:1-4

18. D&C: 127:2

19. Wordsworth, Poetical Works, 299

20. Vergil, Aeneid 6:258-9

21. Milton, Paradise Regained 1:314

22. Milton, Paradise Regained 2:299-301

23. Dante, Inferno 34:29, 90

24. Luke 10:18

25. 2 Nephi 26:22

26. Dante, Inferno 34:18

27. Dante, Inferno 34:55-7

28. Homer, Iliad 6:146, 149

29. Hobbes, Leviathan 13:9

30. Hel. 6:22

31. Alma 30:53

32. Milton, Paradise Lost 1:125-6

33. Euripides, Bacchae 918

34. D&C 88:7

35. Euripides, Bacchae 921-2

36. Euripides, Bacchae 800-1

37. Milton, Paradise Lost 157-8

38. Joseph Fielding Smith, Teachings of the Prophet Joseph Smith p. 137

39. D&C: 88:133

40. Luke 2:49

41. D&C 1:17

42. Homer, Iliad 9:378

43. Homer, Iliad 9:312-13

44. Job 7:17

45. Homer, Iliad 9:120-1

46. Homer, Iliad 9:122

47. Homer, Iliad 9:128

48. D&C 25:3, 6

49. Homer, Iliad 9:149

50. Hesiod, Theogeny 22-3

51. D&C 76:26

52. Latin: “pry-keps.” Headfirst, headlong.

53. Homer, Iliad 1: 591-2

54. Milton, Paradise Lost 4:197-8

55. Vergil, Aeneid 2:206-7; Milton, Paradise Lost 9:525

56. Vergil, Aeneid 2:208

57. Vergil, Aeneid 2:210

58. Milton, Paradise Lost 9:530-1

59. Sophocles, Philoctetes 41-2

60. Homer, Iliad 9:277

61. Homer, Iliad 9:261

62. Homer, Iliad 9:254-5

63. Homer, Iliad 9:257

64. Milton, Paradise Lost 1:122

65. Milton, Paradise Lost 1:133

66. JSH 1:14, Abr. 3:23-8

67. 1 Timothy 6:10

68. Matthew 12:42

69. Dante, Inferno 3:5

70. Dante, Inferno 3:6

71. Latin: God never was able to create.

72. Dante, Inferno 3:9

73. Homer, Iliad 1:25

74. Homer, Iliad 1:26

75. Homer, Iliad, 1:27

76. Homer, Iliad 1:106

77. Homer, Iliad 1:107

78. Homer, Iliad 1:32

79. John 1:12

80. John 8:37

81. Milton, Paradise Regained 1:465, 467

82. Job 1:12

83. Job 2:6

84. Sophocles, Philoctetes 52-3

85. Milton, Paradise Lost 1:85-6

86. Abr. 3:27

87. Genesis 3:5

88. Milton, Paradise Lost 3:285-6

89. Milton, Paradise Lost 9:713-4

90. Matthew 5:48

91. Milton, Paradise Regained 1:357

92. Homer, Iliad 9:411

93. Homer, Iliad 9:413

94. Hymn 27

95. D&C 76:81

96. 2 Ne. 2:27

97. Moses 1:12

98. Sophocles, Philoctetes 86-7

99. Sophocles, Philoctetes 90-1

100. Sophocles, Philoctetes 55

101. Sophocles, Philoctetes 84-5

102. Homer, Iliad 1:188-9

103. 2 Ne. 4:17-8

104. Alma 30:16

105. William Shakespeare, Macbeth Act 2, Scene 1

106. Homer, Iliad 18:22

107. Homer, Iliad 18:26-7

108. 3 Ne. 21:10

109. Moses 1:20

110. D&C 76:45

111. Homer, Odyssey 9:383

112. Homer, Odyssey 9:387-8

113. Homer, Odyssey 1:108-11

114. History of the Church, 6:317

115. Gen. 3:22

116. 2 Ne 4:17-8

117. 3 Ne 17:14

118. 3 Ne 17:15

119. D&C 76:46, 48

120. D&C 76:44

121. D&C 19:18

122. John Bunyan, Pilgrim’s Progress 20

123. JSH 1:16

124. Homer, Iliad 18:34-5

125. JSH 1:25

126. Homer, Iliad 18:35