Post Lucum Part II

Πότνια

Πότνια¹

28

At first all chaos was:² From that methought    

I saw myself in dark and dreary waste.³

Within the space of many hours passed,⁴

And when th’ offending worm who pierced the world⁵

Had siphoned all my strength ‘til naught but cries

And life were left in me to yet go out:

‘Twas heard, my ululate, that led to me

The Mercy of the Lord, His tender Love.⁶ 

29

By many names has She been loved and loathed:

In ancient Israel: Yahweh’s Asherah;

And to the fourth of Noah’s Iapetus:⁷

She’s Gaia, Demeter, or Hestia;

Among the schism’d branch of Lehi’s kin

They knew their god was not a partial god;⁸

For in the God whose grasping Justice cuts

They could see Her whose Mercy Him perfects.⁹  

 30

When up I rose as from unrest and looked,¹⁰

The inner court that jealoused Solomon

 I had not passed; but as a lily ringed

 By thorns,¹¹ I still retained my open wounds.

With hands both sinister and dext’rous he’d

Come up below my head with full embrace.¹²  

“Rise up” he’d said, “and come away, beloved;”¹³

Was I by him or he by me cast out?

31

A’warring in the midst of my tumult

I often turned against myself and said:

“O What am I to do? And which of these 

Within my mind is right?  Perchance both wrong?

If one be right, then which, and shall I know?”¹⁴ 

While laboring at difficult extremes¹⁵

It came into my heart that what I lacked¹⁶

Was She who had been with Him from before.¹⁷ 

32

 While being where before I’d planned to be,¹⁸

(Know: there was none else to whom I could go)    

I offered up my heart for Mercy’s claim:

“O you who bore me ere this shortened life¹⁹

From spirit element to intellect

And thence in royal courts on high me raised,²⁰

Whom thy belovéd Justice honors not:²¹

Say why, O why, has He forsaken me?”²² 

33

So had I spake and seeped a lonely tear;²³ 

When from the side of Him who set the deep²⁴

She came and sat before me as I wept,²⁵

And calling me by name²⁶ spake the divine 

Woman: “Why weepest thou?”²⁷ to which I said,

“You know; must I recount myself to one

Who knows all things?”²⁸ And then said She to me:

“Else Justice hath upon the creature claim.”²⁹

34

She then perceived my worried mind and spake:³⁰

“And now, my son, trouble thyself no more;³¹

Only cease thou to turn against thyself

With uninspired songs by shameless kings.”

Enheartened now I asked Her: “How am I 

Delivered from that one who held me bound?”³²

And She said: “By th’ Atonement made for thee³³

Hath Mercy claimeth all which is her own.”³⁴

35

And then when next I said: “The Lord hath me

Forsook and me hath He forgot;³⁵ when I

Was compassed by the sorrow of death around,

And too the pains of hell had gat upon,

When troubled sorrow I had found,³⁶ O God

Where wert thou then?³⁷ “My son,” said She, “let peace

Be to and o’er thy soul.³⁸  Know he that trusts

In Adonai, I shall encompass him.”³⁹

36

“But how can it be done?” I queried next.

She said again: “’Tis by Atonement made

That Mercy claimeth all which is her own.

Since ye had fallen, in and of thyself,

There is not anything that ye merit.⁴⁰  

Tis only He, twice born maternally

By one almighty sire, apart from all

Who hath done any good and merits Me.”

37

“If only one there is and was,” said I,

“Then how came ye to me?”  “Because,” said She,

“Thy sins ye did lay bare when ere I asked

Why weepest thou, and by which penitence 

I claimed thee true against Just exercise.⁴¹

I tell thee this that ye may learn of me:⁴²

It was that ye have cried as He for me⁴³

Which rent my veil⁴⁴ and my whole face deformed.⁴⁵ 

38

“For ‘tis with Him as one ye must become

By means of penitence; by other means

My plan could not be brought,⁴⁶ and this the plan:

On men did Justice call, that whosoe’er

Repent and harden not his heart, on him

Will I alight, on Me will he have claim,

Like to the Son by Justice lone begot,⁴⁷

Who suffered from the first His will in all.”⁴⁸

39

When seeing me confused at this She said:

“And now my son, there is yet somewhat more

That I would say to thee, a mystery:⁴⁹ 

Experience alone can knoweth Me,

Thus, He alone is filled by Me who takes

On thine infirmity and suffers pain,

Affliction, and temptation every kind,

For otherwise My succor can’t be known.⁵⁰

40

“For only He”, continued She, “can know

Of Me Who suffers impositioning,⁵¹

Not ignorant of woe, to the wretchéd

With all My succor has He learned to go.⁵² 

For He alone can ask the wounded’s plight,

As He Himself the wounded has become.⁵³  

Tis through Him that I’m come to thee to lead

Thee to His rest⁵⁴ and back to His presence.”⁵⁵

41

More plainly then She gave to me to know:

“Apart from thy becoming Him to Me 

Thou art condemned and claim on thee I lack.⁵⁶

For Justice hath a punishment decreed

Before whose bar ye stand fallen and lost,

And hard⁵⁷ except for Him who counseleth

With Me and Justice too o’er all our works.⁵⁸

And now, O man, rememb’ring, perish not.”⁵⁹ 

42

“And think ye not that I can Justice rob;

If so, both He and I would cease to be.⁶⁰ 

For opposition must there be in all,⁶¹

Else would both I and Justice be destroyed,⁶²

For, as all, We are in one compounded,⁶³

A twofold One: all things did We create,

In heav’n and earth.⁶⁴  I say create, in truth, 

We organized from תה֨וּ֨ וׇבֺ֔הוּ ⁶⁵”

43

“That one within this wood who thee awaits,

The one th’ accuser made to be thy foe,

Tis Him I cannot rob but may o’erpow’r⁶⁶

And satisfy His Just demands for thee⁶⁷

By recourse unto One besmeared upon

Whom Justice sired because We loved the world.⁶⁸

Was for a moment small had He forsook

Thee, see though, I am come to gather thee.”⁶⁹

44

At that I found a zeal to penetrate

Beyond the inner court wherein I would

Learn that the blood of One besmeared was shed 

That He might know of me and I of Him;

I stood before the fanum in the wood,

The sylvan τέμενος, made consecrate

By sprinkled blood,⁷⁰ with Her whose presence filled

The sacredest קֹדֶשׁ⁷¹, to enter in.

45

“Arise” said She, “and stand; for there awaits

An evil-laden path and long,⁷² so long,

And hard, that out of Hell leads up to light;⁷³ 

O thou begot again by godly blood,

How facile is the fall to death, and spread

For always are the gates.  And here is toil:

To trace again thy step to upper airs.

Tis few who do, whom equal Justice loves.”⁷⁴

46

And then from me: “What is this thou hast said,⁷⁵

That I, who stand before the pillars leaved,

Have yet a way both long and hard to tread?

And what is this of hell and death and toil?

Am I not now released, as I was told,

By One who suffered all for your succor?

Is this Heaven which most receives Just light⁷⁶

Or leads it to the city suffering?”⁷⁷

47

Then She: “That second place ye named to me,

Have I, most high, with Justice urged and made.⁷⁸

I’troth was I with Him from ‘ere the world,⁷⁹

Before the depths and hills and mounts was I

With Him, before the sky and clouds and sea

Which His decree had compassed and set down;⁸⁰

Before was I as one brought up with Him,⁸¹

And we are gods, because we have no end.”⁸²

48

“Thy path, concerning which, I now explain:

Ye have heard that it hath been said by them

Of old how strait a gate and narrow way

Leads in the few who findeth it; tis true

For many in the world have known Me not.⁸³ 

And broad and wide the gate and way to death,

With many there who Justice don’t abide.⁸⁴

But understand: this twofold way is one.”

49

“Yea, up and down the way is one and like;

And men misunderstand on hearing this

As well at first as not at all.⁸⁵ Again:

The path to Heav’n and that to Hell are one;

Just as the stumbling block and stepping stone

Are just one rock and you the diff’rence ‘lone.

For free thou art, tis for thyself to act⁸⁶

And not be acted on; thy flesh is free.”⁸⁷

50

“Desire alone can lead intelligence;⁸⁸ 

Indeed, who raises force against the soul,

Against a Champion cased in adamant 

Would tilt with straw.⁸⁹ Intelligence requires

Denier’s right and total liberty,

Indeed, of domination none permits.⁹⁰

To know is willful choice, eternal life,⁹¹

For right embraceth knowledge which is power.”⁹²

51

That opposition must there be, and is,

In all, all things, which in one compounded

Must needs be,⁹³ have I come to understand.

Without contrary there is no progress;

Evil and good so-called are sprung from such.⁹⁴

Or shall we good and evil not receive?⁹⁵

Shall we our godly heritage depart?⁹⁶

T’was willful suffering I did not grasp.

52

“Pray, ask thy son for me,” I said, “’tis pain

That granteth to the suff’rer truth?”  Then She:

“To suffer is to full express the self,

In truth, thy self is god in embryo.

Thy self is light and thus in light is dark;

It must in dark descend and shineth out.

T’was for this that We gave thee to below,

So as to draw the good from out the dark.”

53

“Thus was and is the One besmeared upon

The law that sanctifies or not.⁹⁷ He too, 

As thou, is light; He also truth became

By high ascent and low descent, in all

For comprehending⁹⁸ thine infirmities.

As thou thereby are Him become to me,

‘Tis by my succor given thee by Him,⁹⁹

That I to thee will cleave as light to light.”¹⁰⁰

54

As stars reflect a greater light, said I:

“In this doth suff’ring yield the greatest truth:

For as to know is willful choice by one

It is the highest sign of agency;

And when a one whose only pow’r is choice,

Which is the pow’r supreme in every one

Does by that power layeth down their self,

It thereby bears a fullness to that one.”

55

Then She, who giveth light and quickeneth:¹⁰¹

“And here is sacredness: to know, thyself,

As doth a god; there is no other way.

Tis only gods can speak a sanctity,

Can truth exchange betwixt and self maintain.

Therefore the light in thee I bore before

This shortened life and raised to intellect

Must cleave to Me as light to Light doth cleave.”

56

To Her: “How lost was I, in dark, and blind? 

I sought thee not, nor me that ye should rule.”¹⁰²

“How marv’lous are the works of Him besmeared,

And how long are His sufferings for me;¹⁰³

That He His Self to Justice layeth down

For sanctity to speak to me by Thee.”

Then She, “As willfully as He must ye   

Abide the way to Him that justifies.”

57

“Thou must be born of water, blood and spirit.¹⁰⁴

As water poured conform to my commands:

A watery face that’s hovered o’er by Me.¹⁰⁵

And then by spirit art thou justified:

Yea, be thou smeared upon and just thereby.

At last by blood receive of sanctity:¹⁰⁶  

Be sanctified by His sanguinity

Which maketh white by willful suffering.” 

58

“Tell what commands ye have for me.” I sought;

“And how may I by Thee above be shaped?”

The Goddess sang, to make a king of me:¹⁰⁷

“As I love them who loveth Me,¹⁰⁸ so thou  

Receive of Me a fruit beyond knowledge,¹⁰⁹

The which with gold and silver can’t be bought.

Tis good for food and pleasant to the eye,

And meet for thou to eat and become wise.”¹¹⁰

59

“By Me reign and tread thou on Justice’ path.¹¹¹ 

Th’ Accuser would thee dress in ficus skirt;¹¹²

I put on thee a power from on high.

For until now a wat’ry chaos thou,

Now o’er thy face I move upon and wash;¹¹³

By this, as when to sea, We give decree,

And this command thou shalt not over pass:¹¹⁴

From bloody generation be thou clean.”¹¹⁵

60

As bitterly exquisite was my pain,

When darkly ‘ccused, so sweetly now my joy.¹¹⁶

How bless’d is he, knowing the rites of gods,

And purified, initiate by Her.¹¹⁷

To me She gave to see His sufferings; 

Praise ye Her for the holy catharses!¹¹⁸  

A beastly skin Her roseate fruit left me;¹¹⁹ 

She made for me a little coat therewith.¹²⁰ 

J. Wayne Shaw is a husband, father, latin teacher and veteran.

Artwork by Hannah Craig.

1. Greek: “pot-nee-a.”  Designation for royal or divine female figures.

2. Hesiod, Theogeny 116

3. 1 Ne 8:7

4. 1 Ne 8:8

5. Dante, Inferno 34:108

6. 1 Ne 8:8, 11:22

7. Gen. 10:2

8. Moroni 8:18

9. Alma 42:14-5

10. Milton, Paradise Lost 9:1051-2

11. Song of Solomon 2:2

12. Song of Solomon 2:6

13. Song of Solomon 2:8

14. JSH 1:10

15. JSH 1:11

16. JSH 1:11-2

17. Proverbs 8:22

18. JSH 1:15

19. Homer, Iliad 1:352

20. Hymn 292: “O My Father”

21. Homer, Iliad 1:354

22. Matt. 27:46

23. Homer, Iliad 1:357

24. Proverbs 8:29-30; Homer, Iliad 1:358

25. Homer, Iliad 1:360

26. Homer, Iliad 1:361; JSH 1:17

27. Homer, Iliad 1:362; John 20:15

28. Homer, Iliad 1:365; Alma 7:13

29. Alma 42:22

30. Alma 42:1

31. Alma 42:29

32. JSH 1:17

33. Alma 42:23

34. Alma 42:24

35. Isa. 49:14

36. Ps. 116:3

37. D&C 121:1

38. D&C 121:7

39. Ps. 32:10

40. Alma 22:14

41. Alma 42:24

42. Alma 38:9

43. Alma 38:8

44. Matt. 27:51, Mark 15:38, Luke 23:45

45. 3 Ne 8:18

46. Alma 42:15

47. Alma 12:33-4

48. 3 Ne 11:11

49. Alma 39: 1, 3

50. Alma 7:11-2

51. William Blake, Marriage of Heaven and Hell, Plate 9

52. Vergil, Aeneid 1:630

53. Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass p. 57

54. Alma 12:34-5

55. Alma 42:23

56. 2 Ne 9:25

57. Alma 34:9

58. Jacob 4:10

59. Mosiah 4:30

60. Alma 42:25

61. 2 Ne 2:11

62. 2 Ne 2:12

63. 2 Ne 2:11

64. 2 Ne 2:14

65. Gen 1:2. Hebrew: toe-hoo va boe-hoo.” traditionally translated as “without form and void.”

66. Alma 34:15

67. Alma 34:16

68. John 3:16

69. Isa. 54:7

70. Lev. 8:30

71. See footnote 11

72. Dante, Inferno 34:95

73. Milton, Paradise Lost 2:432

74. Vergil, Aeneid 6: 125-30

75. Alma 12:20

76. Dante, Paradiso 1:4

77. Dante, Inferno 1:1

78. Dante, Inferno 1:4-6

79. Proverbs 8:22-3

80. Proverbs 8:27-9

81. Proverbs 8:30

82. D&C 132:20

83. D&C 132:22

84. D&C 132:25

85. Graham, The Texts of Early Greek Philosophy, pp. 142, 151

86. Hel. 14:30

87. 2 Ne 2:26-7

88. Simone Weil, Attente de Dieu,  p. 71

89. William Wordsworth, Poetical Works p. 347

90. Simone Weil, Attente de Dieu,  p. 44

91. John 17:3

92. Encyclopedia of Joseph Smith’s Teachings 373:8

93. 2 Ne 2:11

94. William Blake 149, Marriage of Heaven and Hell, plate 3

95. Job 2:10

96. Gen. 3:22

97. D&C 88:20-1

98. D&C 88:6

99. Alma 7:12

100. D&C 88:40

101. D&C 88:11

102. Mosiah 8:20

103. Mosiah 8:20

104. Moses 6:59

105. Gen. 1:2

106. Moses 6:60

107. Proverbs 8:15

108. Proverbs 8:17

109. Eph. 3:19

110. Gen. 3:6

111. Proverbs 8:15, 20

112. Gen. 3:7

113. Gen. 1:2

114. Proverb 8:29

115. D&C 88:138; Matt. 8:3; Mark 1:41; Luke 5:13

116. Alma 36:21

117. Euripides, Bacchae 71-5

118. Euripides, Bacchae 77

119. Apul. Met. 11.13

120. 1 Sam. 2:19; Gen. 3:21