Meditating on Samuel's Call

Now the boy Samuel was ministering to Yahweh in the presence of Eli…[who] was lying down… Samuel was lying…where the ark of God was, when Yahweh called, “Samuel! Samuel!” He answered, “Here I am, since you called me.” Eli said, “I did not call…” again Yahweh called, “Samuel! Samuel!”…Eli said, “I did not call.”… Once againYahweh called…Eli then understood that it was Yahweh who was calling the boy, and he said to Samuel…if someone calls say, ‘Speak, Yahweh, your servant is listening.’”…Yahweh then came and stood by, calling…“Samuel! Samuel!” Samuel answered, “Speak, Yahweh, your servant is listening.”

1 Samuel 3:1-10*

I, small vessel, no tribal leader, nor called by God,
necessarily, but from somewhere deep, or beyond.
I was young.
I was an infant’s first, slight smile
verging on awareness, before volition.

What beckoned?
Dragonfly, wings holding the sun,
floated down to light on beauty where she blooms in words.
Suddenly, the winged messenger, blossom and I, one, in love.
I did not know how to bear this evanescence.

How did Samuel explain what summoned him?
Bewilderment? Burden or delight?
After he died, how the stories, repeated by the sages
might have condensed his knowing into a voice, a single night,
a hagiography chiseled on the tablet of a people’s history.

For years, I took proximate paths
requiring striving, and, yes, yielding some satisfaction.
Then came the losses and blows that nearly felled me.
At the bottom of the ninth ring, and by this time old,
an upwelling, strong and clear, compelling me to follow.

And Samuel? And when so young!
In a temple? Maybe, or in himself as temple, yearning.
For what? Perhaps through Eli’s eyes, he fully understood.
Or maybe, through years and years,
he learned to tune himself to soundless wings.

Author of the collection Sweet Juice and Ruby-Bitter Seed (Kelsay Books), Dr. Rutledge won Orison Books’ 2023 Best Spiritual Literature poem prize. Merryn teaches poetry, reviews new poetry books by women, and works for social justice.

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