Thank you, Darlene, for expressing so well the loneliness that we don't talk about. There's also a sense of betrayal (unless you are given a revelation) when husbands and children leave even after being promised they'd be protected if wives and mothers put absolutely everything on the altar. I'm glad that's not being taught in the same way now. Maybe this is the only way I can, in a microscopic way, understand the Atonement. But I don't always succeed at processing it well. Just knowing that I'm not alone helps. And when it's your voice, one I trust and love and admire, it helps tremendously.
Thank you--this resonated with me deeply. I felt like I lost myself in young motherhood, drowning in everyone's needs. And then, after I got my bearings, I lost myself yet again as my children left home very close together and then my oldest died. The empty nesting grief is real, but so are the wonder and small-manna-joys that come with reinventing yourself in this new stage. Believe that the pangs of emptiness will someday be quieted! I'll sit with you in the heartache in the meantime!
This is so beautiful, thank you so much for writing it. I have been transitioning from having young kids to teens for the past few years, watching one of my kids come to show a lot of resentment and rejection, and the other go from being a boy to growing a beard and singing bass in about two years. For me, this essay does such a good job at capturing and evoking the visceral sense of ties, like strings, between mother and child, and how world changing and difficult it is as these form and as they alter. And how our own feelings about these changes can take us by surprise. I love the question what would failure feel like? I feel haunted by how much I inherited and passed down without even knowing or wanting it-- there are familial emotional patterns and family dynamics we don't want and didn't mean to choose for our kids, but must grapple with. I have felt very much thrown into life and not in control of it as a mom at this stage. It's nice to hear voices that help me feel less alone in how it brings grief and perplexity.
Thank you, Darlene, for expressing so well the loneliness that we don't talk about. There's also a sense of betrayal (unless you are given a revelation) when husbands and children leave even after being promised they'd be protected if wives and mothers put absolutely everything on the altar. I'm glad that's not being taught in the same way now. Maybe this is the only way I can, in a microscopic way, understand the Atonement. But I don't always succeed at processing it well. Just knowing that I'm not alone helps. And when it's your voice, one I trust and love and admire, it helps tremendously.
Thank you--this resonated with me deeply. I felt like I lost myself in young motherhood, drowning in everyone's needs. And then, after I got my bearings, I lost myself yet again as my children left home very close together and then my oldest died. The empty nesting grief is real, but so are the wonder and small-manna-joys that come with reinventing yourself in this new stage. Believe that the pangs of emptiness will someday be quieted! I'll sit with you in the heartache in the meantime!
Yes, yes, and yes! Thank for writing this. It’s exactly what I feel.
I love this Darlene. You express what many of us feel so well!
So glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for telling me.
Beautiful, Darlene! You capture the bittersweet nature of motherhood. Thanks for your honesty.
This is so beautiful, thank you so much for writing it. I have been transitioning from having young kids to teens for the past few years, watching one of my kids come to show a lot of resentment and rejection, and the other go from being a boy to growing a beard and singing bass in about two years. For me, this essay does such a good job at capturing and evoking the visceral sense of ties, like strings, between mother and child, and how world changing and difficult it is as these form and as they alter. And how our own feelings about these changes can take us by surprise. I love the question what would failure feel like? I feel haunted by how much I inherited and passed down without even knowing or wanting it-- there are familial emotional patterns and family dynamics we don't want and didn't mean to choose for our kids, but must grapple with. I have felt very much thrown into life and not in control of it as a mom at this stage. It's nice to hear voices that help me feel less alone in how it brings grief and perplexity.