The Politest Baptism Ever

A True Story

Daniel Nayari in his Father’s Arms

In this episode of BYUradio’s Constant Wonder, host Marcus Smith speaks with Daniel Nayeri, the author of several books for young readers, including "Everything Sad is Untrue (A True Story)." When the Iranian secret police discover that Daniel's mom, a well-off doctor, has converted to Christianity, she must flee the country with her two children, taking only what they can fit in a suitcase. Witness her son's coming-of-age as a refugee in Oklahoma as he wrestles with the question: Is what we gained commensurate with what we lost? A heart-wrenching, inspiring—and, at times, hilarious—episode from Constant Wonder.

Marcus and Daniel discuss the time his dad, a Muslim, came to visit his children in the US and got baptized, really as a good-natured, obliging courtesy to the pastor . . .

Daniel Nayeri: The story that I tell is the one where the most misunderstanding happens, which is him attending our church. 

And it's a very small kind of evangelical church in Oklahoma. They have a visitor from across the planet. And so it gets a lot of attention. There's 40 people in this church, so you can imagine, he stands out, and the pastor of course, you know, in good faith and good intention wants to talk to him about Christianity and, these things and not exactly understanding that, in the cultural context of Persians and Iranians when they're guests, there is a particular kind of agreeableness that is part of the culture; it's a part of the polite system. And so my father is standing there and he is agreeing with everything that this pastor is saying.

And the pastor is getting very excited 'cause a lot of what he's saying is taking him through the Romans Road and taking him through the assertions of Christianity. And my dad is just like nodding and accepting. And much of the English I assume was actually passing over and through him without connection.

So, we're standing there just thinking we're having a nice little social interaction. Before I know it, he's agreed to be baptized in this church, in his first attendance. 

So, they turn that pool on and get it heated and by the end of the service, [he’s] up there kind of just smiling and nodding and they're very excited. It feels providential and, I remember as a kid being able to understand what's going on, both sides of it somewhat, and feeling like my dad's like almost leading them on, which made me feel bad for the pastor 'cause he's sort of being taken down the primrose path, but also feeling really bad for my dad who doesn't understand what's happening and does not have the polite system to be like, no, thank you. Like, you could never say that. And so, they're both victims to the social interaction, but he's getting baptized.

Marcus Smith: And so, he got baptized to be polite?

Daniel Nayeri: Yeah. Yeah. Why not?  [He’d] have no problem doing it again. He'd get baptized twice, if you needed. Like it's just not a thing that matters. And so, quite literally he gets outta there, he is toweling his head dry, and he is like, [let’s] go get some Mexican food and Twinkies and I was like, okay, cool.

This conversation excerpt has been edited for clarity and length. Listen to the full interview below.

Marcus Smith is the host of Constant Wonder, produced by BYUradio.