The Book that was Locked in a Super Scary Castle
1 Nephi 3-7
1 Nephi 5:21 And we had obtained the records which the Lord had commanded us, and searched them and found that they were desirable; yea, even of great worth unto us.
If you remember, Laman and Lemuel and Sam and Nephi were all going back to Jerusalem to pick up a book. But what was so special about this book? Well, it was pretty much the Bible. It had stories about Adam and Eve, Noah and Naamah, Abraham and Sarah. Lehi and Sariah loved the book because they had been named after characters inside. And the characters were more than characters. They were parents and grandparents and great-grandparents.
At night, Lehi and Sariah used to tell these family stories to their children while tucking them into bed. So you might think everyone would be excited to get the book because it would be like going to the library to check out your favorite storybook, and instead of returning it you get to keep the book in your house forever. But they were not excited because the book was not in the library, and it was also not in their house. They had never owned the book. Instead, the book was owned by a rich uncle named Laban. And Laban, well, he wasn’t known for being such a nice person. And he would never give them his book because he also loved the book because it was big and fancy and made of metal.
Getting the book from Laban was not going to be easy because Laban was sort of like a king. He had a castle and armies and swords. And that made Laman and Lemuel especially nervous. Because if they tried to take Laban’s book, he might try to take their life. And it turns out, they were right to be nervous because Laban did get angry, and did try to kill them. Twice, actually. They even tried to buy the book from Laban with their parent’s gold and pearls and dishes and vases and soup spoons and salad forks and anything else they could find in their empty house. But Laban just took their gold and their things and then chased after them with swords and armies.
And all the four brothers could do was run for their lives. They ran out of the room and then out of the house. They bloodied their knees climbing over a wall. They ran and ran and ran until they were far out of town. They just kept running right back into the wilderness. And they didn’t stop until they had run so far and so fast they could no longer breathe. And then they prayed and prayed and prayed that they were safe and that no one would kill them.
Their hearts were racing, their ears were ringing, their knees were bloody. And they were so scared because someone had tried to kill them, twice. This could not be God’s plan, thought Laman and Lemuel. This just proved that God was not talking to their father Lehi or their brother Nephi. Why would God have sent them to get a book that was ungettable?
Conclusion: God had not sent them. Because if God had sent them, that was even worse. Because then God had sent them to be chased, frightened, robbed, and almost killed. And what kind of God would do that? A God like that must not love their children, they thought. And that made them angry and scared and embarrassed.
But Nephi was certain that he had talked with God and that his father had talked with God. And so he turned to Laman and Lemuel and said, “You’re wrong about God. God did talk to me and to our father. And God did send us here. So there has got to be a way to get that book.” This made Laman and Lemuel angrier. And so they started hitting Nephi and Sam with sticks.
And then something amazing happened. An angel came down and told Laman and Lemuel to stop hitting Nephi and Sam because Nephi was right about God. And so Laman and Lemuel stopped hitting and they said sorry and they had to believe that Nephi and their father had talked with God. And that God had sent them to get this book. Because a big bright angel had just come down and said so.
“But if God was talking to Nephi, then why is he not talking to us?” Laman asked Lemuel. And this made them think of something that scared them even more. Perhaps God did not love them like he loved Nephi and Lehi. But why? What about them was not loveable? And then Laman and Lemuel shivered. “Maybe,” they thought, “we are not good. Maybe we are bad.”
And from what you have heard so far, you might think that Laman and Lemuel were right. After all, hitting people with sticks is not very nice, and neither is complaining all the time. But you should know that they are God’s children too, just like Nephi or Sam or me or you. And God loves them deeply because they are his.
But Satan was whispering a lie in their ears. He was telling them “You are not good.” And that lie went straight from their ears into their hearts, where it burned and stung them like an angry wasp every time their heart beat. Over and over their heart would drum the lie: you are not good, you are not good, you are not good. And Laman and Lemuel began to feel in their souls that they were not good, that they were bad, that God did not love them because they were bad. And that made them very scared.
Have you ever been so scared that you covered your eyes or hid under your blankets? That’s what Laman and Lemuel did. They were scared and they hid themselves, but not just under the covers at night. All day long they hid under their anger, and their complaining, and their mocking. They were so scared that they were bad that they didn’t have any room to be happy or confident. And when you are always unhappy and unconfident, then it is hard to believe that you are good. And if you do not believe that you are good, it can be very hard to do good things.
But Nephi knew that God loved him and that because God loved him, it didn’t matter so much if he was weak or imperfect, because God was strong and perfect. Nephi knew that all he had to do was trust God and he would feel the love of God in his heart. And with the love of God in his heart, he could do anything God needed him to do. And so Nephi set out again to try once more to get that book from Laban. He didn’t know how, but he knew there would be a way.
Now we need to stop here and talk about God. Everything we have said so far is true. God is good. God is kind. And God loves you and me and Laman and Lemuel and Sam and Nephi. God even loves Laban. But just because God loves us all, that doesn’t mean that everything God does makes sense. In fact, sometimes it makes no sense at all. Sometimes we have to ask why God did this or that or why he didn’t do that or this thing we really wanted. And when this happens, it can be very confusing, and all you can do is have faith.
Faith, a definition
Faith is believing in God’s love even when it’s hard to see or feel or believe. Sometimes having faith is easy. For example, when you can’t understand why God is letting the rain keep falling even though you are tired of getting wet, having faith might simply be hopping in another puddle and then looking up into the cloudy-wet sky and shrugging your shoulders and saying, “Mysterious ways, oh Lord, mysterious ways.” But sometimes faith is hard. Sometimes it takes tears and yelling and hugs and laughs and real bravery. Sometimes you have to fight for faith because God won’t always make sense.
That’s what Nephi had to do. He knew God would provide a way. And he was right. But the way God provided was strange, confusing, and so so so hard. It was one of the hardest things anyone has ever been asked to do. It was even harder than the task God gave Abraham.
If you remember, God asked Abraham to kill his son Isaac. Abraham did not understand why God would ask anyone to do something so terrible, but he also knew that God was not terrible. And so he agreed to go and do it even though it really made no sense at all. Because God must understand something more, something bigger, something better. And God was happy that Abraham trusted him. And that Abraham knew that God’s goodness and love were deeper than anything we could ever figure out. And so God sent an angel to tell Abraham that it was just a test. Of course he didn’t have to kill his own son.
But no angel came for Nephi. God asked Nephi to kill Laban and Nephi had to do it so that he could get the book. God tried to explain that the book was so important because it represented so many people. Not just the past but also the future. God tried to explain that our lives are not as important as our souls. God tried to explain that sometimes one man is asked to die so that other people can live.
But it didn’t make sense to Nephi. And it probably doesn’t make sense to you because it’s not much of a children’s story. But God promised that it would make more sense someday. And that eventually God himself would be asked to die, just as Laban had died, so that everyone else could live. “Someday,” God said. “Someday.”
After Laban was dead, Nephi put on Laban’s clothes and pretended to be him. He walked right into Laban’s castle and asked Laban’s servant, a man named Zoram, to get him the book. And Zoram ran and got the book. And they walked together out into the wilderness. When Zoram asked where they were going, Nephi took off his disguise and explained everything to Zoram.
He explained about the terrible thing God had asked him to do. And how it was terrible, yet he knew that God was not terrible. And Nephi probably wept as he said he was so sorry and that he never wanted to hurt anyone. And then a miracle happened. Zoram believed Nephi. And Zoram wanted to stay with Nephi because he knew: this was a man of faith. A man like Abraham.
And they all walked together, Zoram and Nephi and Nephi’s three brothers, all the way back to the camp where Lehi and Sariah were waiting for them. And I think Nephi probably sobbed into Sariah’s shoulder as he gave the book to his parents and told them the price he had paid for it. And then they were all quiet as they thought about the worth of Laban’s soul, and their souls, and their ancestors’ souls, and all our souls. Because all souls are alike, and have worth, and potential, and power, and glory, and are beautiful to God.
And from that point on they carried the book with them wherever they went. The cost, the worth, the value of the book was beyond anything they could have imagined. Because in the book, in the names and the stories, they found God. And God wanted Lehi and Sariah to know that even though they were traveling into the wilderness all alone, they were not alone. Because they were not themselves. They were part of God’s family.
And when Lehi read from the book, it seemed to him like his whole life was just the latest chapter in this bigger, better, holier book. He was part of the book and the book was part of him. All the names of all the families and all the stories were inside of him. Lehi was not just Lehi. In his name were other names like Abraham and Jacob and Isaac and Laman and Nephi. They were all there between the L and the I. Listen close, and you will hear them.
Joshua is an award-winning writer and director. His recent book, Ali the Iraqi, was published by BCC press. Sarah is a literature and theology doctoral student studying the Book of Job in the twentieth century.
Artwork by Maddie Baker.