Jacob’s Big Idea and The Missionary who Prayed and Prayed

Enos

Enos 1:5 And there came a voice unto me, saying: Enos, thy sins are forgiven thee, and thou shalt be blessed.

If you recall, Jacob’s big idea was to try and teach Laman and Lemuel about Jesus. And so he decided to send missionaries to the Lamanites. He called it Project Love My Brother, because, remember, the Lamanites were his brothers. They were the family of Laman and Lemuel, his two oldest brothers. And though we don’t know who Jacob sent, he surely would have sent the best and the brightest. And so he probably would have sent his own son, Enos.

“Enos,” he would have said, “I know I am getting old, and you are helping to take care of me and the family, but I need you to go and take care of someone else for a while. Because there are people out there, who need you more than we do. They are the Lamanites. And you will have to walk miles and miles and miles to find them. But I will give you directions. And you will be a missionary.”

Missionary, a definition:

Missionaries are people who give up their jobs, and families, and school work, and friends, and toys, and bedrooms so that they can go teach other people about God. In fact, missionaries try to talk about God with everyone they come across. They talk about God on the street, on a train, in a house, and in the rain. And if no one is listening, they will just keep talking and talking and talking until someone does. 

But none of the Lamanites listened to Enos or the other missionaries. “Missionaries,” the Lamanites said, “We do not need you, we do not want you, and if you come here again we will hurt you. Please go away and never come back.” And that made it really, really hard for Enos and the others to be missionaries. Because talking to people about God is what makes a missionary a missionary. Or so they thought.

And so Enos and the others hung their heads, turned around, and started walking home. And as they walked Enos thought about his failures. They were returning home without even a single baptism. And he remembered stories of Nephi and Lehi talking to God, and angels coming down, and Laman and Lemuel being shocked into believing. And if God could do that before, he could certainly do it now. And so Enos had no one to blame but himself. And he thought, “I am not smart enough, or clever enough, or well-spoken enough to be a missionary.” And that is something a lot of missionaries have felt at one time or another.

When Enos got home, he went to tell his father the bad news. But when he saw Jacob, he didn’t want to say it. Because his father’s face was old and gray and weak and so so so excited. The bad news would crush him, It might even kill him. But there was no getting around it. And so Enos blurted out, “We have all failed!” And this made Jacob sad. And Enos cried and Jacob cried.

Luckily, Jacob did not die right away, but for the rest of his life, he was different. It was almost like he was wandering in and out of a dream. He was sadder and lonelier. And he missed his brothers and his parents. Life had been long and hard for Jacob, and he longed for something simpler. Like a home he had never even known, all the way back in Jerusalem.

And when Jacob did die, Enos was there beside him. And he knew that his father had tried his entire life to do good and be good. And even after all that effort, he had died with a half frown. It didn’t seem right. Nothing seemed right. Not Jacob’s death, or Jacob’s sadness, or Enos’ failure.

But even though nothing seemed right, and even though Enos was sad, and his mother was sad, and his sisters and brothers and the whole city were sad, there was nothing they could do to make Jacob smile, ever again. And so they went about their lives, getting food, and making food, and eating food, and building and repairing, and washing and cleaning.

Enos was glad to have work to do because he was tired of sitting around and being sad. And so he decided to go out hunting. He grabbed his bow and arrow, and he left his crying mother, and the sad sisters and brothers and the whole mourning city and went into the woods to try and shoot a deer. But while he was walking his sorrows welled up like a big dark tornado swirling around him, and Enos felt very small and weak and helpless. He couldn’t even lift up his own arms, so instead he dropped to his knees.

“God,” he prayed, “I am sad and I don’t know how to be happy again. I’m trying very hard to be good, but so did my father, and he was still sad when I came home. And I am nowhere near as good as my father. You should know because I was a lousy missionary. Maybe I am just no good at all.” And Enos prayed and cried and prayed for a day and a night.

Have you ever tried kneeling for even one hour? I haven’t either. But it sounds uncomfortable. You would get creaky knees, and your feet would feel like a thousand pins are pricking them. But Enos kept praying because he thought that if only he prayed enough his words would stack and build up on top of each other until they reached all the way up to heaven.

And maybe he was right because eventually, God spoke to Enos. “Enos,” God said. “I have heard your prayers. All of them. I know you are not perfect. But you are forgiven, and you are blessed.” Enos did not understand how it worked but somehow he knew it was true. And Enos kept praying and praying. He didn’t want to stop. And so he prayed for his family and his city and his friends. And then he prayed for the Lamanites because he did not want them to suffer for his failure as a missionary. And God filled Enos with hope and joy and faith and love. And Enos could feel God next to him, pulsing through him like his big, strong, beating heart.

And then it was over. Enos was too tired. He could not pray another word. And so he went home and slept for a full day. And when he woke up he was happy because he thought everything would be different now. And soon enough, he packed up his bag and went off to try to be a missionary for the Lamanites again. But it wasn’t different. The Lamanites hadn’t heard the voice of God or felt his heart. And they didn’t have time or interest or hope enough for Enos to tell them about it.

But Enos would not give up so easily this time. He could not tell people about God with his mouth, but it was not the voice of God that had given him hope, but the heart of God. And so Enos could still be a missionary, he just needed a new definition. 

Missionary, a new definition:

Missionaries are people who teach about God not just with their mouths but with their hearts. They are often unknown and unheard. They are sometimes despised and rejected. They can seem weak and silly and inconvenient. But they bless the world wherever they go. And if you tell a missionary to go away and never come back, the missionary might feel down, or sad, or unsuccessful. But if the missionary keeps loving, they are still a missionary.

And Enos was a great missionary because he prayed for people and he loved people. And he knew God loved people and was blessing them, even now. Even though they were too busy and preoccupied and exhausted to notice. But God was noticing them. And he was preparing a place for them where they could lay down their head and their sadness and their concerns, and just rest. Where they would sleep for a full day, then wake up not even a little tired.

Joshua is an award-winning writer and director. His recent book, Ali the Iraqi, was published by BCC press. Sarah is a literature and theology doctoral student studying the Book of Job in the twentieth century.

Artwork by Maddie Baker.