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Stan Benfell's avatar

Thanks very much, Candice. It's good to hear from you, and I'm grateful for your comment, especially for sharing your own experience with anxiety. Hard to believe that it has been 15 years since you were at BYU!

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Candice Wendt's avatar

I love this essay. I have struggled with social, health, and driving anxiety. I resonate with recognizing it for the first time as an adult, and with accepting it as a burden to bear for the long haul (although have been able to do things to improve it). I recently got a calling as choir director in my chaotic ward which has 100 investigators attending each week. Everything in me says "hell no," and yet the ward needs it, and it is in line with my values. Sometimes it feels bitterly ironic to me that God is aware I don't feel cut out for being the center of attention or being in charge of chaotic things, and yet keeps providing inspiration to do all kinds of things that are way out of my desired activities and comfort zone. I see exposure to ward community life really can be a great treatment for anxiety! Your essay made me think about how I've received many blessings that have said things like I'll lose my self-focus. It has always made me uncomfortable. My anxious thoughts may be about my own welfare in a lot of cases, but I've actually had the opposite problem in relation to other people. I give too much, and I have consistently underestimated myself and assumed I will fail at things that I succeed at. I think I actually needed more faith in myself, and in some ways more real focus on myself, not more unselfishness. Thanks for the generous essay. And it was delightful to hear about this more personal side of your life having known you (15 years ago) in person, without having any clue you struggle in the same way I do :)

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