Ammonihah and The Shelling of A Man

Alma 8-16

Alma 15:18 Alma having seen all these things, therefore he took Amulek and came over to the land of Zarahemla, and took him to his own house, and did administer unto him in his tribulations, and strengthened him in the Lord.

We have spent some time talking about Alma’s life. There were certainly some sad moments, but you might think we are past all that now because he went out on a mission to teach people about Jesus. And the people in Zarahemla listened and things got better, and so the rest of his life will be hopeful and happy. But that is not true.

The story we are about to tell is about another city that did not listen to Alma. And this is one of the saddest parts of Alma’s sad life. But we are going to tell it because when life gets really sad, something happens to people. They break. They break like a shelled nut. Either they crumble to pieces and the nut and the shell get all mixed together and it is almost impossible to tell which is which, or else they crack wide open, revealing their precious, vulnerable, beautiful heart.

And this is a story about the tragic shelling of a man’s heart. So let’s begin this sad sad sad sad story. And let’s begin with a man named Amulek. Amulek lived in a city called Ammonihah. He had a nice house with trees in the backyard. On weekends he probably sat in the shade and drank chocolate milk as he watched his friends and family go by. It was a good place to live. Because any place is a good place to live if you are living there with people you love. And he loved his friends and his family.

But his life was about to change. It would change in a good way and in a very very bad way. Because life is not simple. And what is good and right is not simple. And doing what is good and right can be very hard. Amulek was about to learn this because Alma was about to show up.

There he is, wearing those walking sandals. He is coming up over a hill. Amulek can see him now because Amulek is out enjoying his chocolate milk. They have never met before. Complete strangers to one another. But Amulek is startled. Because guess what? He recognizes the man. How can he recognize a man he has never met before?

Well, Amulek had a dream. And in his dream, an angel introduced this man to Amulek. So even though they had never met, Amulek knew him. Still, Amulek was a little nervous because that was a strange way to meet a stranger. But he also knew that the man was a holy man and that he should take care of him.

And that is a good thing too, because Alma had been walking for days and was weak and tired and hungry. Amulek took Alma to his house. “Here is my home,” he said, as he poured him a glass of chocolate milk. “Be comfortable here. Here is my bed. Rest a while.” And Amulek and his family cared for Alma. And Alma said thank you by telling them about Jesus. And they listened to Alma and decided to believe him and trust Jesus.

When Alma was fed and rested, he and Amulek went out into the streets and markets of Ammonihah so they could teach more people about Jesus. But things didn’t go so well. People weren’t listening. When Alma said, “Repent and be happy,” the people just laughed.

“Speak for yourself,” they said. “You do not know what will make other people happy.” And so Alma thought for a moment and then tried again.

“Repent or burn in a lake of fire and brimstone,” he said. And this got everyone’s attention, but not in a good way.

“Who are you to tell us what to do,” they said. “You don’t know the future. You are not our king or our judge anymore. You are just Alma. And you are making us upset.”

This is understandable because no one wants to be burned in a lake of fire. And whatever brimstone is, I’m pretty sure nobody wants to burn in that either. Because burning is hot and painful and hard to think about. But what the people of Ammonihah did next is even harder to think about. They did something remarkably bad. They were scared of fire and brimstone and they let that fear break them. But instead of breaking open, they broke into pieces. They said, “We will show you. You say that if we don’t listen to you today we will be burned later. Well, anyone who does listen to you today will be burned right now.”

And they took the women and the children who believed in Jesus and made them walk into a raging fire. And they forced Alma and Amulek to watch. Amulek saw his friends and his family forced into the fire where they burned and died because they believed in Jesus. And Amulek could not understand. What had become of the city he loved?

It had broken open and revealed a rotten heart. It was not the beautiful place he had thought it was. It was a bad place. A place where people burned in fire and brimstone. A place like hell. And the leaders of the city slapped Alma and Amulek and said “Do you still think God would burn us with fire and brimstone?”

And Alma wept for the people and for Amulek. And Amulek wept and wept and cried and cried and thought he would never be happy again. Nothing was beautiful anymore, not food, not chocolate milk, not the trees, not the earth, not the wind, not the fire, not his city, not anything.

And he would not be happy for a long time. He was not happy when he was put in prison instead of killed in the fire. He was not happy when God toppled the prison walls. He was not happy when he walked out of the city safe and sound. Even when he started to preach about Jesus again, he was still not happy.

And Alma looked and saw that Amulek was suffering and that the wound was not healing. And so Alma carried Amulek to his own home in Zarahemla. “Here is my home,” he said. “Be comfortable here. Here is my bed. Rest a while.” And Alma brought Amulek food, and medicine, and sunlight, and chocolate milk, and he loved him and cared for him. Because Amulek was wounded. Because Amulek needed those things. He had broken wide open. And Alma was able to see his pure, beautiful, wounded heart.

And Alma could see that even though Amulek was a full-grown man, he was still like a little baby. And he was like a baby because he was helplessly in need of love. And not a little bit of love. Not occasional love. Not love for being good. Not love in exchange for love, like trading toys. But love in exchange for nothing. He needed big love. Unending love. Love that sat next to him and said nothing. Love that hugged him even after letting go. Love that had flesh and bones. Love that could feel his loss and his pain and cry with him. Love that he could no longer receive from a father or a mother, love he needed from a friend. And Alma was that friend.

Alma nurtured Amulek with love until Amulek learned to hold it in his own chest again, until he remembered how to breathe cool, clean air in and out of his lungs, and pause to feel a moment of peace. Until he could begin to trust again that there is hope, and that there is glorious good to be had in the world, even though there is also evil.

Alma and Amulek were forever changed. It is the moments that we see the worst our kind can do, the times that we realize the darkest darknesses are not always just imaginary, that our understanding of the world shatters. And when we put it back together, it will look different than it did before. It must. And after Ammonihah, Alma never spoke the word fire again, never threatened sinners with the burning lake of brimstone. It was something he would never ask anyone to imagine. Because he learned that God does not burn people. People burn people.

And he had learned that men, even if they look big and strong, are just like children, desperately in need of love. That he himself was in need of love. And that’s what made him like a child. But he was also capable of sharing and spreading love. And that’s what made him like a man.

Joshua is an award-winning writer and director. His recent book, Ali the Iraqi, was published by BCC press. Sarah is a literature and theology doctoral student studying the Book of Job in the twentieth century.

Artwork by Maddie Baker.